"Nothing good is ever written, it's always re-written." - Professor Windler

I find that quite profound. Howewer, it also exhausts me because I now envision myself writing, turning in, rewriting, and so on and so forth. I do foresee this semester going better than LAST semester's seminar. Need I remind everyone of the 1.0 tragedy??

The people in class get the wheels in my head turning. Some of them are so... deep. And while I do consider myself mildly creative, I think somewhere I lack critical thinking skills. Like, when someone talks about how the Rio Grande is the border between Mexico and the United States, then you get that crackpot in the front couple rows asking, "If you murdered someone in the center of the river, whose jurisdiction is that, or do you just get off?" Ok, while that question was a bit creepy, it had some real creative undertones. Who thinks of those kind of implications? Sometimes, I lack those implicational questions. Sometimes I miss obvious connections and symbols. I do, however, consider myself an expert at ::snaps fingers into guns:: Nam-e-ology.

No really, sometimes I think maybe there is something I should be so passionate about. Like peace marches, protests, and rallies. Then again, I told myself today, in the same way, there is something I am passionate about. Me. I don't want to waste my energy on some worldly issue. I think the most I can do is make my life the way I want it. It's like MJ told us, "If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change." Ha, I'm so lame, it's pretty awesome. But seriously, I just want to better my own life while I'm here. I know it's kind of selfish and bullshit not to think about humanity and the greater good on the whole, but who says I'm not already bettering it by just shutting my mouth and making my own circumstances what I want them to be?

I don't know, but lately I'm quite obsessed with the energy idea. To be honest I read it in a People magazine. To protect the innocent, me, in this case, I won't reveal exactly whom it came from. I'm so stuck on it though. The fact that I only have so much energy in life, and it really is a huge personal pick and choose as to what I want to use/waste it on. It's odd... I've been getting down to the nitty gritty lately. I'm concerned with wasting my energy, and I've been cut throat as far as who I've been letting in my life.

At any other point in my life, with so many guys wanting to date me, I'd seriously be making out with all of them. Not to sound bad or anything, I just never really seemed to mind going out. I was always really really giving of myself. I've never had a lot of money or anything of real value to give someone, so I've always been more giving of my time. Then I hit college, then I became really selfish with my time. However, lately I've slowly been coming back from that, but I'm definitely more selective. I'm glad I never had a serious gaggle of friends I always stuck with. I want only the closest and best, and I like being that way. I'm thankful for the people I have let in, and will continue to keep doing so based on my quintessential instinct skills. In the meantime, I'm super thankful for family. They made this weekend. Distracting me from the pain of certain things crashing around me.

I have tried my ass off lately to focus on positive. And thanks in large part to the other people in my life, it's been possible. There are certain things at this point, I can't do anything about, and I'm just letting them go.

You know, funk is the root of all music. I think it's bullshit when people say they don't like funk. My ass you don't, it's pretty much in EVERYTHING we listen to now.

This weekend was not a Cancer walk, but rather a Diabetes walk, considering how the disease has ravaged my Grandpa, my Aunt decided it was a nice idea. :)

Currently my top wisdom tooth is coming in. This severly limits the opening/closing of my mouth.

I specifically picked out the movie "Less Than Zero" for two dollars at a pawn shop in Florida.

I sang karaoke this weekend to "Believe" by Cher, and another personal favorite, "Red, Red Wine".

I feel really calm today. The only thing remotely stressing me out is the prospect of seeing the old roommates tonight. However, no one has been able to contact me because my phone is off. Life's a bitch man.

I like the taste of blood. I have zero problem sucking on a cut. ::shrug:: it's just a bit iron-y.

It makes me a bit insecure when people accuse me of being insecure. Sometimes I just don't know if they're right or not. And if they are, then I feel insecure about being insecure. I really don't think I am, I'm just trying to keep myself rational and realistic.

Demons and ghosts scare the FUCK out of me. I'm such a pansy when it comes to shit like that. It's sad, really.

Good thing about egotistical people, they don't generally talk about anyone else, whether it's bad or good.

::shrug:: Nothing too exciting has been happening. Life is kind of at a slight stand still. I don't mind it though. I'm quite patient lately.

I promise next time I'll have something of value to say.

Michele
"...and knowing is half the battle"